Learn from your mistakes?

Imagine you and a friend are walking down the street and a car is about to hit your friend… what do you do? Your natural instinct would be to scream or push them out of harms way. We care about our friends and we’d do what ever we can to prevent them from getting hurt by a car. Does that same idea apply to relationships? If the “car” is a bad relationship, is it our job to prevent our friend from getting hurt? We’ve all seen it happen, your friend is dating someone that you believe to be potentially harmful, what do you do? Do what you can to prevent them from getting hurt or just stay quiet and wait to pick up the pieces? I understand that life is about learning from your mistakes, but if someone else has already made that mistake can you learn from theirs or do you have to make the mistake for yourself? Can you learn from other people’s mistakes when it comes to matters of the heart? I’ve seen it first hand that a friend has made the same mistake time and time again, and at first your instinct is to make sure that they are happy and when the pieces need to be picked up, you are there for that. But there comes a point at which you are tired of seeing them hurt and you having to pick up the pieces. Does that make you a bad person? At the end of the day there are some instances in which you can’t help someone if they don’t want to be helped.

Defriending

In life when you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, do you keep in touch with their friends via phone/text after? Probably not, unless its one of those situations in which you were all friends before we started dating (and I have my own thoughts on that scenario, to be revealed at a later date). So why do I need to keep my ex's friends as my friends on Facebook? We all hate to admit it, but Facebook has become a way of life. You get to work and post a status, comment on your friends pictures, browse your friends to see what they are up to, check it on your phone... we are constantly Facebooking. So if Facebook it such an integral part of our lives why should people that are no longer a part of our lives be privelaged to see what going on? I'm sure some people are hurt when they are "defriended" but honestly get over it. If you are not longer a part of my life and my circle, I really don't care to know what you are up to and I don't think you deserve to know that I'm doing.

Marry you at 30?

At some point in our lives, we've all made or at least considered the "if we aren't married by the time we are 30 we'll marry each other" promise with a friend. But who actually takes advantage of something like that? You make a promise with someone that you knew 10 years ago, and the reality of it is that A LOT changes in 10 years. What are the chances that you still keep in touch with and more importantly is still attracted to the the "promise partner" of the future? I mean if you can in fact actually see yourself with that person forever, if so why haven't you hooked up with them yet? Would you really be able to be in a relationship knowing that it happened just because it was a promise that you made when you were 18? Everyone is always on a quest for "their soul mate" and 'true love" so what if you marry someone because of the promise and then meet your "soul mate" the year later? What do you do? Is there anyone that actually takes advantage of the "marry you at 30 promise? So to anyone that I may have made this promise with, I'm sorry but I take it back and we should both continue our searches alone. Who knows if its meant to be our paths may cross once again.

What's your type?

We all think we have our ideal type of significant other. Whether its a personality, looks, job whatever it may be we have a preconceived notion of who we should be with. But if we are always trying to go after our ideal types and they aren't working out, do we really know that our ideal types are? Should we be a little more open to going outside of our comfort zone and then we may really see what our ideals are? Its easy to think that you know what you want based on the similarities and differences from past relationships and the reasons why things didn't work out in the past. For example, if you dated someone and then disputed about religion and finally broke up because of it you are more likely to not date someone outside of your religion with the fear that you'd go through the same type of break up again. I'm not saying that you should go entirely against your beliefs and morals, becaue that is the true core of a person, but think outside of the box. If you think you want a guy that has a 9-5 day job try dating someone that does freelance work and has a flexible schedule. Even if the relationship doesn't work out, at least you can say that you tried something new and you'll learn more about your self and what you can adapt to. Sometimes its true we don't know what we were missing until it arrives....at the same time...try everything once... twice if you like it.

Too independent for our own good?

As we all get older and out friends and family are getting married and having babies, you get more pressure from yourself and your family to get on the wagon and start joining in on the wedding/baby trend.I'm not blaming my friends, I just implying that the lifestyle my friends and I live could possibly contribute to us all being single. Think about it, most things you would do with a significant other you can do with your friends, check out a new restaurant, travel, go to a movie, be a date at a wedding, game night, etc. Aside from the physical aspect of a relationship you already have your friends covering all aspects (emotional, social, mental). I look at my group of friends that are single and granted we all want to get married at some point, but in the meantime we haven't been enjoying the ride with our friends till it happens. So I can see why it becomes more difficult to meet someone and let them in when you have already made a comfortable little "nest" for yourself. I do believe that its going to happen when it happens, but at the same time we all need to be proactive about it. Is our independence what prevents us from being in relationships? Has our independence made us forget how to compromise? Or do we know what we want and aren't willing to settle until we find it?

Changes in life...

Have you ever hung out with some friends and thought to yourself “so and so has changed”? I’m sure we’ve all had a moment like that whether it’s with childhood friends, everyday friends, co-workers, who ever it may be, you know what I’m talking about. I guess the question is, have THEY really changed or have YOU changed? Regardless of who changed, change is good right? Life experiences change us, think about when you went away to college and came home for the holidays and met up with some high school friends. Some of them changed and you still got along with them, probably because you went through the same experiences, while others still stayed like there were in high school and you just grow apart. Are the changes and experiences that we go through what actually brings us together and breaks us apart? I understand that we are all individuals with different experiences, stories, personalities and ideas, but don’t you think that within a group of friends you are all friends because you have a common thread? Or is it by default as in person A is friends with person B and person B is friends with person C so person A and person C are now friends? Do friendships like that last when it’s by default? Are you more likely to push through and make it work when it’s friendship by default or more likely to let it go?