Why Men and Women Can't be Friends

We've all see When Harry Met Sally and have heard the stance on why men and women can't be friends. Here's a video of a guy doing a social experiment and asking random college students with they are friends with the opposite sex and you'll be surprised to hear the responses.



Shout out to: Young Independent Filmmakers Jesse Budd and Patrick Romero for creating the video and posting it.

Words to Live By

I came across this through a friend and wanted to share it, since the words and actions is describes is some pretty good advice to live by.

(Less than) Desirable Attire

Now that the weather is warmer you see more and people wearing less, to say the least. Guys walking around topless, girls walking around with dresses that barely cover the essentials and others that you just sit and wonder... “what were they thinking?”. I understand that if you have the rock hard body of a Greek god or goddess you want to flaunt it, but with that come the stereotypes and impressions that you leave. There is a time and place to be “barely dressed” and it seems that not everyone is on the same page for this, so to sum it up it’s okay to be “barely dressed” at the beach, boat, pool and in the privacy of your own home but when you are socializing around families, hanging out with friends, in a public space (restaurant, festivals, bars, etc.), walking down the street… cover up! At first I thought it was just me that made this observation but after talking to some friends and strangers (both guys and girls) I realized that we all agreed, no matter where you rank on the “hotness” scale if you come off self-centered based on the way you are dressed people are less likely to approach you because there isn’t enough space for them and your ego in the equation. It’s funny how the girls that dress scantily wonder why they always get the guys that are looking for one night stands, if you are dressing the part what did you expect? Have respect for yourself in that you are more than just an object to look at, you are a person that has something to say with words not the way that you are dressed. Leave something to the imagination. As for the guys, while I appreciate you being eye candy and going topless, you pretty much come off being cocky, self-involved and egotistical. Even if you are a genuinely nice guy, it’s hard to look past that exterior image that you portray by going topless at inappropriate times. Most girls would agree that if picking between a topless hard body and a casually dressed average Joe to approach, average Joe would win on the sheer fact that he’s just more approachable and doesn’t have a stereotype that lingers with his attire, or lack of. All in all the reality of it is that we attract people based on the way we look and present ourselves, but we should do it with dignity and not let our attire (or lack of) hinder us from meeting quality people.

Expiration Dates

Expiration dates aren’t only for food, they hold true for relationships too. Whether romantic, career or friendship, they all have an expiration date. It could be in a few months, years, or a date so far into the future that you never get close enough to realize it. We’ve all been there.. the relationship that went on longer that it should have...staying at a job that you start to despise, or the relationship you are in just because you afraid of the 6 letter word.. SINGLE! Is it really better to be in a “relationship” that is past its expiration date? If you are no longer happy is it really worth it to invest time and energy? Some may argue that its just a rough patch, but when the rough patch has lasted 3 months and nothings changed, its time to get out. There is the “grace period”, you know when you drink milk that is 3 days expired. You are taking your chances by doing it, you can be fine or you can get sick, but its a risk you are willing to take. But as you get further from the initial sign of the expiration date are you willing to take the same risks? Would you drink milk 2 months after its expiration date? Probably not. So why should a relationship be any different?

You many not agree with the expiration date and try to hold on trying to make it work, but that is an indication that the relationship has expired (or approaching the expiration date). I’m not saying that relationships are effortless, but if you are constantly unhappy and stressed in a relationship is it really work being in? If we all serve a purpose/function in each others lives isn’t the expiration date telling us that the purpose has been fulfilled and you need to move on?

Expiration dates don’t have to mean that its over for good, it could mean that that there is a new purpose or function that the job or person needs to fulfill. Think about the friends that have grown with you over the years, many of them may have come close to their expiration dates, but the relationship is reinvented time and time again and a new function/purpose is there to be fulfilled. We grow as people and relationships need to do the same.

Some expiration dates are created while others we have to create our own but knowing that there is an existence of an expiration date makes you realize that not everything is meant to last forever.

Learn from your mistakes?

Imagine you and a friend are walking down the street and a car is about to hit your friend… what do you do? Your natural instinct would be to scream or push them out of harms way. We care about our friends and we’d do what ever we can to prevent them from getting hurt by a car. Does that same idea apply to relationships? If the “car” is a bad relationship, is it our job to prevent our friend from getting hurt? We’ve all seen it happen, your friend is dating someone that you believe to be potentially harmful, what do you do? Do what you can to prevent them from getting hurt or just stay quiet and wait to pick up the pieces? I understand that life is about learning from your mistakes, but if someone else has already made that mistake can you learn from theirs or do you have to make the mistake for yourself? Can you learn from other people’s mistakes when it comes to matters of the heart? I’ve seen it first hand that a friend has made the same mistake time and time again, and at first your instinct is to make sure that they are happy and when the pieces need to be picked up, you are there for that. But there comes a point at which you are tired of seeing them hurt and you having to pick up the pieces. Does that make you a bad person? At the end of the day there are some instances in which you can’t help someone if they don’t want to be helped.

Defriending

In life when you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, do you keep in touch with their friends via phone/text after? Probably not, unless its one of those situations in which you were all friends before we started dating (and I have my own thoughts on that scenario, to be revealed at a later date). So why do I need to keep my ex's friends as my friends on Facebook? We all hate to admit it, but Facebook has become a way of life. You get to work and post a status, comment on your friends pictures, browse your friends to see what they are up to, check it on your phone... we are constantly Facebooking. So if Facebook it such an integral part of our lives why should people that are no longer a part of our lives be privelaged to see what going on? I'm sure some people are hurt when they are "defriended" but honestly get over it. If you are not longer a part of my life and my circle, I really don't care to know what you are up to and I don't think you deserve to know that I'm doing.

Marry you at 30?

At some point in our lives, we've all made or at least considered the "if we aren't married by the time we are 30 we'll marry each other" promise with a friend. But who actually takes advantage of something like that? You make a promise with someone that you knew 10 years ago, and the reality of it is that A LOT changes in 10 years. What are the chances that you still keep in touch with and more importantly is still attracted to the the "promise partner" of the future? I mean if you can in fact actually see yourself with that person forever, if so why haven't you hooked up with them yet? Would you really be able to be in a relationship knowing that it happened just because it was a promise that you made when you were 18? Everyone is always on a quest for "their soul mate" and 'true love" so what if you marry someone because of the promise and then meet your "soul mate" the year later? What do you do? Is there anyone that actually takes advantage of the "marry you at 30 promise? So to anyone that I may have made this promise with, I'm sorry but I take it back and we should both continue our searches alone. Who knows if its meant to be our paths may cross once again.