What's your type?

We all think we have our ideal type of significant other. Whether its a personality, looks, job whatever it may be we have a preconceived notion of who we should be with. But if we are always trying to go after our ideal types and they aren't working out, do we really know that our ideal types are? Should we be a little more open to going outside of our comfort zone and then we may really see what our ideals are? Its easy to think that you know what you want based on the similarities and differences from past relationships and the reasons why things didn't work out in the past. For example, if you dated someone and then disputed about religion and finally broke up because of it you are more likely to not date someone outside of your religion with the fear that you'd go through the same type of break up again. I'm not saying that you should go entirely against your beliefs and morals, becaue that is the true core of a person, but think outside of the box. If you think you want a guy that has a 9-5 day job try dating someone that does freelance work and has a flexible schedule. Even if the relationship doesn't work out, at least you can say that you tried something new and you'll learn more about your self and what you can adapt to. Sometimes its true we don't know what we were missing until it arrives....at the same time...try everything once... twice if you like it.

Too independent for our own good?

As we all get older and out friends and family are getting married and having babies, you get more pressure from yourself and your family to get on the wagon and start joining in on the wedding/baby trend.I'm not blaming my friends, I just implying that the lifestyle my friends and I live could possibly contribute to us all being single. Think about it, most things you would do with a significant other you can do with your friends, check out a new restaurant, travel, go to a movie, be a date at a wedding, game night, etc. Aside from the physical aspect of a relationship you already have your friends covering all aspects (emotional, social, mental). I look at my group of friends that are single and granted we all want to get married at some point, but in the meantime we haven't been enjoying the ride with our friends till it happens. So I can see why it becomes more difficult to meet someone and let them in when you have already made a comfortable little "nest" for yourself. I do believe that its going to happen when it happens, but at the same time we all need to be proactive about it. Is our independence what prevents us from being in relationships? Has our independence made us forget how to compromise? Or do we know what we want and aren't willing to settle until we find it?

Changes in life...

Have you ever hung out with some friends and thought to yourself “so and so has changed”? I’m sure we’ve all had a moment like that whether it’s with childhood friends, everyday friends, co-workers, who ever it may be, you know what I’m talking about. I guess the question is, have THEY really changed or have YOU changed? Regardless of who changed, change is good right? Life experiences change us, think about when you went away to college and came home for the holidays and met up with some high school friends. Some of them changed and you still got along with them, probably because you went through the same experiences, while others still stayed like there were in high school and you just grow apart. Are the changes and experiences that we go through what actually brings us together and breaks us apart? I understand that we are all individuals with different experiences, stories, personalities and ideas, but don’t you think that within a group of friends you are all friends because you have a common thread? Or is it by default as in person A is friends with person B and person B is friends with person C so person A and person C are now friends? Do friendships like that last when it’s by default? Are you more likely to push through and make it work when it’s friendship by default or more likely to let it go?

True love on tv?

We all are searching for our "soul mates" and some people think that being in front of camera while having an intimate moment or just having dinner is the key to finding that person. Honestly, if you aren't successful on your own, how much can it help to have millions of viewers watching you on TV and having the rest of the cast and crew on-set watching you and telling you "can you kiss him again, we missed that shot". Is it really possible to find true love on TV? I mean look at the track record of shows like the Bachelor, the Bachellorette, I Love New York, Rock of Love.. etc, how may of those have actually resulted in long-lasting relationship? If I'm not mistaken the only success story is Trista from the Bachellorette. Yet everyone is looking for their big break on those shows. What is the value of your personal life being personal, privacy, living a normal life? Celebrities are trying to get out of the limelight to get some privacy yet everyday people are looking to get in it to exploit their privacy. Are we just greedy? So what happens to those reality stars that get on a show and "play the game"? Only a handful of them actually maintain their D-List status, but then you go back to your regular life; except now all your friends, family and even strangers already have a new viewpoint of you. We all like to think that your close friends and family know and love you for who you are, but when you put yourself out on TV like that this is a difference in opinion no matter how big or small. Reality television is going to portray you in a way in which it draws in the most viewers, and if that means that they are going to exploit you as being the B*&%@ of the group, are you ready to live with that? It’s easy to want to see your name on the small screen but at what cost?

Promise me this...

Maybe it’s just me, but promises are a big deal. A promise according to the dictionary is a declaration that something will or will not be done, given, etc., by one. If you are going to make a promise that means that it is something of importance and value to you. So why do people break promises? I understand that a drunken promise may not hold much value but sober ones definitely do. If you ask me you shouldn’t make a promise if you don’t have the intention of keeping. Or if you can’t keep it there should a good reason for it. If you take the time and effort to make the promise have the decency to follow through and be good on your word. Remember when we were younger our parents promised that they’d take us to Chuck E. Cheese and then they didn’t and how upset we were. I feel that same way when a friend breaks a promise to me now. I don’t make promises that I can’t keep so I expect the same of those around me… is that too much to ask? All I'm asking is that you follow through with a promise you are making or if you can't don't make it.

Are all friendships meant to be forever?

Losing touch with friends seems to be a part of life, its not like we are still best friends with people we knew in first grade. I’m sure some of you are, but we become friends with people in life and then people move, we grow apart or we just lose contact. In either case why is it more difficult to get out of a bad friendship than a bad relationship? If you are in a bad relationship your friends will be the first to say you need to dump him/her and you can do so much better. But when you are in a bad friendship that is no longer beneficial to either party where are your friends to tell you that you can do better and that he/she has changed and you are better without them? Do we hold our friends at a higher standard than our significant others? Friendships are a type of a relationship so why should it be any different? As strange as it may sound, I definitely have some friendships from my past that were good while they lasted but I no longer talk to them or confide in them. It’s somewhat refreshing in the sense that you are not longer putting for the effort into something that isn’t growing. Much like a relationship all friendships can’t last forever, right?

Enough with the PDA

Is it me or are more and more people partaking in PDA now that its getting warmer out or am I just noticing it more? I'm talking about Public Displays of Affection not to be mistaken with Personal Digital Assitants. It seems that everywhere I go I see people making out and all over each other. Is it really necessary? I understand that you are in love and I’m happy for you, but do you really need to force the rest of the world to see it? If we wanted to see people hooking up you can watch tv, a movie or porn for that matter. Can’t the privacy of your own home be enough space for you to display affection? I understand that you may want to hold hands or give a little kiss in public, but anything beyond that is just creating a public show. Having to show everyone how much in love you are through PDA must say something about your relationship, almost as if you are trying to justify it. So the next time you are thinking about being all over your significant other think who's watching...