Listening is a skill

I’m sure it has happened to all of us, we are talking to someone and you ask them then something they say ‘what’ and then before you get to repeat what you just said, they respond. I know it has happened to me and I’m sure that I’ve probably been guilty of it a few times. Are we really that self-involved that we are too focused on what wear going to say? I remember my 7th grade teacher saying "listening is a skill", and its something that has always stuck with me. When conversing with someone, you need to listen, comprehend and then respond. More often than not we listen and only hear what we want to hear and then move straight to responding, without comprehending. Is it human nature to always be defensive and ready to respond instead of just taking it for what it is? Is it a default in the brain that we automatically say "what" before anything else? I saw a shirt that explained it best "half listening as usual". So the next time you are talking to someone, listen to what is being said and take a second before you respond, its amazing how much more you will understand.

“There are people, who instead of listening to what is being said to the, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves.”

City appreciation

Why do we wait until we have friends or family in town to take advantage of the "touristy" things our city has to offer? I'm sure that many people that live in Chicago have never been on the architecture boat tour, walked through Millennium Park, seen a concert a Ravinia, gone to the Lincoln Park Zoo, gone to a sporting event... the list goes on. Why don't we take advantage of what the city has to offer regardless of who's in town? Chicago like many other cities has a variety of events and activities taking place throughout the year regardless of the weather, but its not until you have guests in town that you do new things. Why not do new things with the friends that live here? It would be like a new adventure in exploring your city, so that the next time you have friends or family in town you can recommend something that is truly unique to your city. Are we only willing to splurge in our city when we have a reason? Is living life not reason enough?

Minor changes…huge consequences

If you could go back and make changes in your life would you? What would you change? Personally I wouldn’t want to go back and change anything because the people I've met and the experiences I've been through have made me who I am today. My life isn't perfect, but its my life and I'm happy with it and the way its going. Yeah, I it would be great if I had a job right now, but then I wouldn't be able to write my blog or do the random freelance work that I'm working on. Change one thing no matter how small and it has major impact on the next outcome in life. I may not have met the people that have become an important part of my life and who I am. I wouldn’t have the same memories that I have with my friends and family and all the good times and bad times that we’ve been through. Most of all, if I was to change my past, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Everything that has happened to me from birth till now has made me who I am and has given me the life lessons that help me make everyday decisions in my life. So think about it, if you were to go back in time and make a change in your life.. would it be worth it? Would you be happier? Do you have more to gain or lose in the change?

It has been said something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world. - Chaos Theory

Want to do or ought to do...

Growing up our parents always told us what was wrong and what was right. As we grow older we know what we ought to do but we also know what we want to do. So the question is how should we live our lives? Should we do what we want to do or what society expects us to do? Who are we living our lives for? We've all seen the person in their mid-twenties who's life still seems to be controled by their parents. Shouldn't we come to a point at which we stand our own ground and make the decisions that impact our lives? I'm not saying you shouldn't respect your parents, since they are the ones that brought you into the world and taught you the the basics of life, morals, beliefs and right from wrong. But when do we become indiviuals that think and act for one's self? Our parents teach us the foundation and once in a while it may need to be "renovated" based on what you experienced in life. We go into the "real world" armed with what we've been told we "ought" to do but and we go through life we come to realize that we want to do something outside of the normal. The problem we then face is that when we do something we "want" to do society looks down upon us. There is no right or wrong way to live your life as long as you are happy and doing things that make you happy while adding something posivite to society without hurting others you are on the right track.

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Life is a game of baseball...

So its officially baseball season and as I was watching the Cubs game the other day, I came to the realization that life is a lot like a baseball game. Its a slow and steady game that takes patience. You go through slumps. You strike out, sometimes a lot. And you'll make mistakes both physical and mental at crucial times. But in the end as long as you know the fundamentals of the game and you can take it head on, your insight and perseverance will pay off.
In baseball you start off as a rookie, watching and learning from the seasoned pros, you'll strike out, make mistakes and get benched but you take the lessons you've learned as you progress. In life you are born and learn what to do in life by watching your parents you'll make mistakes, get in trouble at school, get in a fight, get rejected by someone you like, but you learn and go on with your life. As you get more field time and mature you learn more about what you are capable of learn your strengths and weakness and play off of those. You'll take more chances because you have faith in yourself and so does your team (family and friends). You are becoming comfortable in your own skin and learning that even though you strike out sometimes, every time you put yourself out there you are increasing your chances of succeeding. You'll get those big home runs, graduate college, land your first real job, get married have kids and enjoy the game along the way. Baseball is a team sport and requires the coordination and support of all the players to succeed. In life the support from friends and family will help you by giving you that extra push you need to do something out of the box, and motivate you to believe in yourself and what you are able to achieve. In baseball and life big changes can happen in a matter of seconds and it all comes down to how you play the game and the players you have on the field with you.

"Never let the fear of striking get in your way" ~Babe Ruth

Cabbie Talk

I've taken cabs during the day and the cabbie stops talking on the phone to ask me where I'm going and then goes back to their phone conversation. Then there are those drunk cab rides home that you tell the cabbie where you need to go and he's probably telling the person on the other end of the phone how he/she just picked up a passenger that is drunk and better not throw-up in the cab. What kind of cell phone plans do cabbies have that they are able to talk all day and all night? True most cell phone companies offer unlimited plans for day and night, but then that brings up the question... who are they talking to? Yeah I have friends that I talk to numerous times a day about nothing, but its not something that happens everyday. Cabbies talk on the phone every day all day. So who are they talking to at such odd hours of the day? Do they talk to other cabbies about new routes or hotspots for passengers? Are they complaining about their passengers?

Lesson Learned?

We've all been screwed in relationships before, whether its a break up because of ethnicity, race or religion or some other arbitrary reason. Its what we do after being hurt that matters most. Are you the person that shuns off all others that are that ethnicity, race or religion and make every other person that you meet pay for that person's mistake? Or do you learn from it and just go forward with a little more caution but still with an open heart? Of course you won't be able to forgive and forget overnight but over time you realize that it was probably better now than later that you were able to get out and move on. If you can learn from your mistake you can go forward knowing one more thing about your self and what you are looking for. Take your learn and grow from your personal experience, don't let what's happened to you keep you from meeting someone special down the road.

Here are my friends...

When and how should you introduce your significant other to your friends for the first time? Its a tricky situation because if you act too soon he/she may think that you are too serious and if you don't do it soon enough then you aren't serious enough. So when should you do it? 2 months? 3 months? 4 months? More importantly how is he/she going to meet you friends for the first time? All 30 of your friends at a bar for the first time? (Could be a bit intimidating) A small group of your close friends out for drinks? (Could create a more comfortable atmosphere) Is it best to have a "drinking" environment to the first time meeting your significant others friends to help ease the nerves? (Nothing like liquid courage) I think the ideal way to meet a significant others friends is a small group of 3-4 out for drinks after dinner. That way you get your quality time with your significant other and then get to see the other influences in his life. A small group meeting allows a more personal conversation for your significant other to have with your friends rather than the feeling of being an outsider, provided your friends and significant other aren't both extremely shy. The right time to meet your significant others friends is when you feel most comfortable with each other. I mean you can be dating/talking to someone for 2 months and hanging out with them every single day or your can be dating/talking to someone for 6 months but hanging out with them once every 3 weeks. All in all like most things in relationships, it entirely dependent on your and your significant other and your relationship on how you do things.